Saturday, 20 August 2016

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101+ Funny & Clean New Year Eve Jokes 2017 {Hilarious}


 If your last search was anywhere around new year eve jokes 2017, then you're definitely at right place.

So, the countdown for new year begins, and everyone is ready to ride the new year 2017, right? And, to people are searching for new year wishes 2017 and some are searching for new year quotes, but few of them also searching for funny new year eve jokes, and I bet that you're one them, right?

Well, I'm always right. Well, I'm kidding. Welcome to the happy new year 2017 website. We are share new year all kind of new year stuff like new year jokes, new year images, new year quotes, new year clean jokes, new year riddles, and every single thing that people apparently search on new year.

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Well, without delaying, let's get right into the topic i.e funny new year 2017 jokes.

Also Read:  Advance Happy New Year 2017 Wishes| SMS| Messages

Funny New Year Eve Jokes 2017 

We will open the book,
Its pages are blank.
We are going to put words on them individually.
The book is called Moment and
Its first chapter is New Years Day.

What happened to the Irish man who discovered about the evils of drinking in the New Year? He gave up thinking.

What happens every year when the Time Square Ball drops? Justin Bieber gets jealous

Women get a little more passionate about New Year's Eve than men do. It’s like a justification: you drink too much, you make a lot of commitments you’re not going to keep; the next morning as soon as you wake up you start tearing them. For men, we just call that a date.

Oh My Dear, Forget your Fear,
Let All your Dreams Be Clear,
Never Put Tear, Please Hear,
I Want to Tell One Thing in your Ear
Wishing you a Very “Happy New Year."

New Year Jokes - Funny New Year Joke

New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time 2 make your regular annual
good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with dam as normal.

On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was prevented by a police officer. 'What are you doing out here at 4 o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.
'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.
'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the constable caustically.
'My wife,' mumbled Daniel grimly.

Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the celebrations. After she had walked up, she told to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all proposes?'
'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered Max grinning broadly.
At midnight, as the New Year was sounding, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package. Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: 'The meaning of dreams'.

John, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Dave, and asks for the smoke.
“I thought you made a New Year's resolution and that you don’t smoke,” Dave says.
“I'm in the process of resigning,” replies John with a grin. “I am in the middle of phase one.”
“Phase one?” asks David.
“Yeah,” laughs John, “I've quit buying.”


New Year's Resolution jokes

“Families are complex enough, but everything became even more confusing after my father decided to get married to my brother's mother-in-law. "Now I can't make up my mind whether he's my dad or my father-in- law," says my brother, "or if my mother-in-law is now my stepmother, or whether my child is my daughter or my niece.”

Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means, ‘Without Information Fighting Everytime.'
WIFE says: No, it means ‘With Idiot for Ever.'
Happy New Year 2017

Boy to a Girl:
“You Are Like A COIN”
Girl: hmm, wow really..??
.
.
.
.
Boy: No, no actually I Want To Say,
Therapy day month walleye.
Happy New Year.


Renewal Of Friendship Contract 2017
After Dangerous And Circumspect Consideration,
Your Contract Has Been Renewed For The Year 2017.
So, try to be more friendly and CARING next year.
Take care of Miss and me.
Because It’s Impossible To Find A Friend
Who is
95% Ideal
96% Intelligent
97% Kind
98% True
99% capable
and
100% Friendly
So,
Don’t lose Whom you Never Want To Lose.
Wish you a Very Happy New Year

On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and announced that it was time to get active. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was uncomfortable. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

To kick start my New Year:
I took an IQ test, and the results were negative.

I resolve... I resolve 2...
I resolve 2, uh...
I resolve 2, uh, get my, er...
I resolve 2, uh, get my, er,
off-line work there, too!


A friend asks his friend four a cigarette. His friend says
I think you made a New Year Resolution to quit smoking.
That man says. I am in the process of quitting. Right now
I am in the middle of phase 1. What's phase 1?
I've quit buying

Happy New Year Eve Funny Jokes 



What do you tell someone you didn't see on New Year's Eve? I haven't seen you for a year!

What happened to the Irish man who thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year?
He gave up thinking.

What's the problem with jogging on New Year's Eve?
The ice falls out of your drinks!

‘Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
  
 Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can start covering hell with them as usual.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year. A Cassandra stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

For my new year’s resolution, I promise to stop correcting your terrible spelling and focus more on your bad grammar.

 Now that the old year has passed Let the past be over with The New Year has come forward and owned the clock So let us look forward to all the possibilities That the New Year in these twelve months with it brings

Must Read: Merry Christmas Wishes, Quotes, Grettings, Sayings & Cards!

What do you call forever wanting a date for New Year's Eve? Social Security New Years Eve forecast: Mostly drunk with a little chance of passing out.

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
   
God, grant me the senescence to ignore the people I never liked anyhow.

The real luck to run into the ones that I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.



Happy New Year Eve 2017 Jokes Images

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Wrapping Up

So This is all about NEW YEAR EVE JOKES. We hope you guys liked new year messages and the one liners that we have published on this web-page
 
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